Catholic Families

This last Tuesday we celebrated our daughter Isabella's birthday. She would be 15 years old. It was fifteen years ago, and she was with us for fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes outside the womb, but I can still remember those minutes, and the days before and after as if they were yesterday. Anyone who has suffered a loss like that can tell you, the pain is never more than a day away. At first the pain is unbearable, and you wonder if it will ever go away. Then you worry that it will go away. Thank God it never does go away. As every year goes by there are still those moments when you remember and you get every precious minute back. In those moments the pain and the tears become a comfort. They are my memories of our precious Isabella and I think to lose them would be to lose a piece of her. Even today I look back, and it seems like it was minutes ago, or yesterday at the furthest.

We didn't know it going through the pregnancy but found out shortly before her birth that Isabella had Down Syndrome. People have asked us since, "if you knew early on, would you have kept her?" As if to say, if we had known early enough, we could have killed her before we became to attached to spare us the pain of her dying. When I look at families of children with down syndrome, rarely do I see happier people or happier children. They truly know what it is to love, and be loved as Jesus taught us to love. In fifteen minutes Isabella made it so perfectly clear to me when Jesus said "love one another as I have loved you" The lesson that love is what you give and not what you get. Children, especially those with special needs are a gift from God and welcoming them into our homes is a core foundation of the Catholic Church. It is build into our wedding vows and a promise we make at the alter before God.

We live in a disturbing time when it is acceptable in subsequent pregnancies, for the Doctor to ask, "Do you want to test for Down Syndrome? You would still go through with the pregnancy if the test came back positive?" Of course being Catholic the answer is an unequivocal "yes." but at the same time there is an underlying pressure to just quietly believe without coming out as to judgmental.  We live our Catholic beliefs but are pressured to keep them in the Church. At least we have always been able to say the Church stands up for us as a family. The Catholic Church believes in families, They encourage those of us who choose to have large families, and reserves a place of high honor and respect for those mothers who choose the vocation of motherhood and dedicate their lives to staying at home and raising the next generation of strong Catholics.

That is why the recent remarks of Pope Francis when he stated that Catholics need not "breed like rabbits" hit a raw nerve for those Catholic families that have chosen a more difficult path for the sake of their faith. The comment rocked a foundation of belief that even through the world at large may not appreciate or hold sacred the role of family, the Catholic church did. The comment gives fuel to the fire for those who want to weaken the Church's stance on everything from marriage to abortion. Catholics and families are under attack. Morality is being mutated by society into bigotry. There is, sadly, a sigh of relief from many "Catholics" when the pope makes those comments. There is a faction in the Catholic church that wants to change Catholicism to make it new, make it fit more with society. Society doesn't dictate what is right and wrong through. That can only come from God. We look to the Church to establish and hold fasts those fundamental truths. Morality can't be subjective left to be interpreted by the individual. Feeling something is right, cannot make it right.

I have heard commented by our priests many times, don't take the headline of what Pope Francis says at face value, go to the source and read the statement look at the bigger picture. So when I heard that comment, that is what I did, and sure enough the Pope did back off his statements in a clear way. Oddly, it was the SSPX news website this time that clarified the pope's view on large families. A group that is often criticized and labeled as sedevacantists and schismatics (they're not) were the ones to come to the defense of Catholic families, the Pope, and the Catholic Church. Meanwhile our own diocesan newspaper unfortunately only reported on the original comments in an article that was borderline favorable and encouraging of those unfortunate comments.

In comments to the Italian bishop’s newspaper Avvenire, Vatican Archbishop Giovanni Becciu said, “The Pope is truly sorry” that his remarks about large families “caused such disorientation.” Archbishop Becciu said the pope “absolutely did not want to disregard the beauty and the value of large families.” (SSPX)

The Pope also went on to make reparations for his comments is his General Audience on January, 21 when he stated "It gives me consolation and hope to see so many large families that welcome children as a true gift from God.”

I am grateful for those families and priests that stand up to defend family. The Catholic Church is rooted in our families, we teach our kids by example, priests, and nuns and saints start off as children in Catholic families. If we are going to win the war on morality it has to start in our families, leading through example. Please continue to pray for our Catholic families.

Why We Dress Up for Church

Not long ago there was a billboard for a non-Catholic church on the main Street in our town. The billboard proudly proclaimed, "These are my Sunday Clothes" and pictured a man in jeans, a t-shirt and a leather coat. I remember wondering why is it that it is such a draw to show up for church so casually.
Not long after I was having a conversation with some friends, who as it happens are also not Catholic. The topic of Sunday dress had come up and they also proudly proclaimed that they show up dressed just as they were that weekend. Shorts, tshirt, jeans, whatever they were wearing for the rest of the day. Their reason for this being acceptable was they were pretty sure that "Jesus didn't care how they dressed"
Even in our Catholic churches you do not have to look far to find this casual attitude toward attire. It is a popular position to take Jesus as our best friend, who takes us as we are. My friends that weekend did not care what I was wearing, I didn't care what they were wearing, so why does Jesus care what I decide to wear to church?
The answer could be, He just might not actually care, but I think the more appropriate question is why don't we care? Jesus does want us, sinner and all. Jesus will take us as we are. He wants us to come to Him regardless of what we are wearing I am sure. It should however maybe occur to us to ask ourselves what Jesus gave so that He could take us as we are. During this time of lent we are reminded more than ever of the sacrifice that He made for us. As Catholics we witness that sacrifice every Sunday and stand in His true presence. He died a horrible death after being tortured for my sins, for everyone's. He died because he knew I was not good enough, He died so He could take me as I am.
When I go to a funeral, even for someone I don't know well, I dress up. I wear my Sunday best. I also notice at a funeral 98% of people do the same. We dress up out of respect for the life of the person that has just died. We dress up to say, "your life meant something to me." We are capable of showing respect through our dress for strangers. We dress up for work, we dress up for a night out, we dress up for a funeral. Why should Jesus deserve any less from me? He has given me the chance of eternal life. How can I show up in jeans or shorts an say, "hey bud, must have sucked being up on that cross."
Dressing up for church also demonstrates to my family, and the rest of the world that we are going to Church on Sunday. That is our destination. We are not stopping at church on the way to a bbq. We are not going to the football game but have to make an appearance at church first. We are going to Church. We are going to show our reverence for the sacredness that is the Mass. Dressing up is an outward sign that we can give to show our respect and gratitude for Christ on the cross.
When we show up for church dressed casually there is a tendency to have a casualness toward the Mass. When we show up casually we remove the sacred from the Mass. When we remove the sacred from the Mass, we ignore the sacrifice. The Mass then becomes for us at best a symbolic meal rather than a sacred act.
I have been to many churches, traditional churches, where the priests preach continuously on the importance of dress and modesty in our display of reverence toward the Lord. I am always grateful when I am asked outright if I feel I am giving Christ all the devotion He deserves. Even outside of Church, our kids recently were sent home a letter addressing proper dress for band students at a concert. The letter explicitly listed appropriate dress for men and women to wear for the concert and also explicitly listed, that leggings are not pants for women and will not be allowed.
If we are required to wear pants for something as simple as a band concert shouldn't we asked to do the same for Mass?
That is why we dress up for Church, that is why my wife and I ask our kids to dress up for Church. The Mass should stand apart from our daily routine. We should prepare ourselves to have to go there. The act of dressing up for Mass, as well as the act of changing into more casual clothes after Mass, very clearly marks for me and my family that we have just been somewhere important. That we have just been to see Someone important. Christ deserve something more from me than I give the rest of the world. His sacrifice deserves my outward appreciation and dressing up for Mass is one way I can display that respect to my family.

The Holy League | Joining Forces in a Spirit of Marian Chivalry

Cardinal Burke has recently released a video introducing an exciting new initiative

The Holy League | Joining Forces in a Spirit of Marian Chivalry


Here is the video

The Feast of Saint Joseph

Today is the Feast Day of Saint Joseph. As a father and a husband Saint Joseph has always been a source of inspiration. If you want to look for guidance in how to be a Catholic husband and father who better to look to than the head of the Holy Family himself.

Saint Joseph is the model of love and faith in your spouse and God. We accept as Catholics the truth of the immaculate conception, but I wonder if any of us can really put ourselves into the shoes of Joseph? I am not sure what my reaction would be if just before my marriage my wife would have come to me and said " I have something to tell you, I'm pregnant, but don't worry I didn't cheat on you, it's God's baby." I like to believe I have some level of faith, but, at that point, I would have likely said, "oooookay, well I am going to go over here now and call the guys in the white coats. "

We know that Saint Joseph did perhaps have that initial reaction, but even in his first reaction we see his love for Mary. The bible tells us his reaction was to quietly divorce her. Here is Joseph, likely reeling because he knows that Mary is pregnant, and he also knows the baby is not his. At this point he has two choices, 1. he can out Mary, embarrass her, have her punished (which would likely be stoning) or 2. He can quietly divorce her walk away. Which is what he plans to do. To the rest of the world Joseph will forever look like the biggest jerk in history, walking out on his pregnant wife. But his love for Mary is so great, even though at the moment he is feeling betrayed, not yet having knowledge of God's plan for his family, he still chooses to protect her. To care for her. I think it is probably because of this instinct in Joseph that God granted him such an incredible vocation. To be the protector of Jesus and Mary. Even before the angel came to him, acting only on his love for Mary, his instinct is protection of her.

Then the angel comes to him in a dream and reveals the truth to him. At that moment when he wakes from his dream Joseph fully accepts his vocation.  He will be the husband Mary deserves, he will be the earthly father to Jesus. He will provide for and protect them at all costs. I think this is why Joseph is called the "terror of demons." What chance does a demon have against the man charged with the earthly protection of the Son of God? The man charged with the protection of the Mother of God?

This is such an expression of a man's love and trust in his wife and God. He has no reason to believe Mary, or trust his dream. He has all the evidence that he should divorce her. All outward appearances say, she is lying to him. Yet with full faith in God and in Mary he trusts her completely. He trusts in God completely.

Because of his faith, his trust and protection Joseph is considered the Greatest Saint, after Jesus and Mary, he was granted the great honor of dying with Mary and Jesus at his side. It is because of this honor he is the Patron Saint of Death.

We often offer a prayer to Saint Joseph in our house. I will share it here. You can say a Novena to him as well by offering this prayer for 9 mornings in a row and publishing it. I can vouch for the power of this prayer and I know there are many times when the Terror of Demons, the protector of the Holy Family, has given his protection to my family as well.

Oh, St. Joseph,
whose protection is so great, so strong, so prompt
before the throne of God,
I place in you all my interests and desires.
Oh, St. Joseph,
do assist me by your powerful intercession,
and obtain for me from thy Divine Son
all spiritual blessings, through Jesus Christ, our Lord.
So that, having engaged here below your heavenly power,
I may offer my thanksgiving and homage to thee most Loving of Fathers.
Oh, St. Joseph,
I never weary contemplating you and Jesus asleep in your arms;
I dare not approach while He reposes near your heart.
Press Him in my name and kiss His fine Head for me and
Ask Him to return the Kiss when I draw my dying breath.
St. Joseph, Patron of departed souls - pray for me.
Amen.

Motherhood’s Trials: a Means of Redemption

We ran across this article the other day. There are no words to express how grateful I am for my wife. She has given us so much at her own expense.  She is the most amazing person I have ever met.

Motherhood’s Trials: a Means of Redemption

This article touches on what motherhood really means and how oftentimes in our society, those who choose to dedicate their life to it are not given the respect and honor they so richly deserve.

Saint Patrick's Day

Being Catholic

I am starting this blog in an effort to try to be a better Catholic. Not just on Sundays but every day of the week. We live in a world where there is constant distraction, sometimes I think intentional distraction, away from God. We work, shop, run kids around, clean the house, rake the yard, watch TV, and then collapse into bed at night to just in time to wake up and do it all again the next day.
Pretty soon I find myself in Church on Sunday, feeling a closeness with God that I had completely overlooked the entire week. This blog will be my effort to try to focus my thoughts on Catholic ideas and teachings on more than just Sunday.

I am not a theologian or anywhere near a Catholic scholar. I am a Catholic lay person who wants to know more about my Catholic faith and grow it. I have found that I am at times frustrated by the current state of our Catholic church. It sometimes feels to me as if Catholics have forgotten how to be Catholic. When I think of going into a Catholic church, I think of going into a place of reverence, a place of respect. After all the Catholic church is the only church I can enter and actually physically be in the real and true presence of Jesus Christ.

There was a time in the Church that people seemed to know that. That when you went up to the alter to receive the communion, you would fall on your knees in awe of being in the true presence of God. That an alter server would carefully place a paten under your chin as you received the body of Christ by mouth. By mouth because as a Catholic you felt unworthy to touch the hem of His robe, let alone handle the body of Christ. And the tray under you chin because of the slight possibility that any fragment of the real and true body and blood of Christ should fall to the floor.

That is the kind of Catholic I want to be. One that is always aware of the sacrifice that Jesus made for me, for my wife, for my kids and for everyone. I find it difficult sometimes during Mass to focus my attention on Christ. Even going up to take Holy Communion seems so casual, we are encouraged to take by the hand, and move as quickly as possible, and what if I wanted to fall to my knees? to display awe and reverence as I receive Holy Communion? Our Churches are not set up for that. I would hold up the line, someone may trip over me, people would think, "look at that weirdo kneeling to receive communion!"

I am not writing this to stand on my pulpit and look on people or the church in judgement. I am sharing this because I want more from my Catholic faith. I want to be challenged to be a better Catholic and sometimes it seems like we are deliberately not challenged to be better Catholics. So my purpose in writing this is solely to challenge myself and my family to be better Catholics. To be Catholic every day. I will try to pick topics, on family, modesty, and every day Catholic life. Maybe someday someone might even read them.